some thoughts

I'm having a particularly stressful time of late.
It's not stress brought on from negative experience - in fact quite the opposite, it just seems that I have to fight against the tide to get where I want to be all the time.
And I'm becoming exhausted.

I have just further complicated my life somewhat by becoming involved with someone here at home, when I'm moving to University (fingers crossed) in 3 weeks.
Its nothing serious, but it has confused my feelings even moreso, and I'm investing energy into my emotions too much, just at the point where I need to focus and concentrate.

I really like the guy, and we do have physical and intellectual chemistry there.
But the truth of the matter is in my heart I am still in love with someone else.
I spend my time thinking of them both, and feeling guilty.
Then wondering if I'm making the right choices at all.

If I were to do 'the right thing', morally, I wouldn't be going to study in the hometown of the person I am in love with. I know this, but there's a whole big tangle of emotions there anyway - not all related to romantic pursuits.
I'd also tell the person I've started seeing the truth - that I'm not ready or willing to commit to them, and maybe never will be...but I think its too early for those types of conversations anyway really.

Is honesty always the best policy?
Whenever I advise others about their problems, thats what I tell them, and I do believe that to be true.
But I think most importantly we have to be true to ourselves, and sometimes that means playing your cards close to your chest I suppose.

Know thyself...

Such a simple truth
But the one we ignore the most.

I know what I have to do...
And I can't let anyone, or anything stand in the way of my dreams.
Because they are all I have.