eep!

My life is about to become very real and very scary,
if I follow through the choices I have made.

I have that weird feeling of impending doom mixed with hyper excitedness!
I can't remember the last time I felt that.
That's a good sign, right?
If you get the gut feelings and the butterflies that means it's working...
I hope.

A non-real life friend of mine totally pissed on my plans yesterday though and I hate myself for doing it, but I am starting to question things and backtrack in my head.
Now I know this is standard Miss .B behaviour brought about by being afraid and wanting to run in the opposite direction - and this is exactly the pattern of thinking I want to stop, as it is clearly getting me nowhere...so yeah as someone else pointed out, my non-friend probably has his own agenda.
And it wouldn't be the first time he's persuaded my thoughts against a certain situation.
People really are strange sometimes...

sigh

...and this was supposed to be a constructive entry
oh well (since when was I constructive?)

hmm.

I have much plotting to do.