Sunday, July 30

lost and found

life just keeps getting harder
and it just keeps getting harder to hide
the darker it is around me
the easier it is to see inside
outside the glass
the whole world is magnified
and it’s half an inch
from here to the other side

i guess that push has come to this
so i guess this must be shove
but before you throw those stones at me
tell me, what is your house made of?
and if you think you know what i’m doing wrong
you’re gonna have to get in line
but for the purposes of this song
let’s just say i am doing fine
i guess i’m doing fine

I have just discovered the wonderful Ani DiFranco
Thanks to Foreword


Saturday, July 29

This is how you make me feel...

I feel like you've reached inside my heart and torn away my insides.
I can't even cry it hurts so much.

I don't want it to be like this.

Why can't we go back to that night and stay there forever?
Why did you leave me here without you?

Monday, July 24

Hippy!

I've just spent a lovely evening with my long-time friend Dave, who's company I'm enjoying more and more lately, actually...
I've always had a soft spot for him, he seems to encourage that element in everyone though...
And he was my first...a long time ago.

Anyway, I digress.

He invited me along to the Golden Fleece for their Open Mic night, and suprisingly enough, I had a really nice time there.
The place was so chilled and relaxed, and the musicians were all talented and varied (some old guy singing about diarrhoea, for example!)

And I'd forgotten how much I love live music - but all in all it was just really nice to go out into the big wide world again, chat with a friendly face, and get away from my own thoughts.
The high point in all of this is that, I haven't touched a drop of alcohol all evening!
And thats saying something for me, as of late I have been knocking back the booze a bit too readily.
I've realised that I was depending on the alcohol to make me 'fun' and 'sociable' everytime I went out, and thats not a good way to be...and dammit,
I AM FUN.
Without the aid of fermented yeasts and whatnot.
Besides, I don't want to be 'that' girl anymore; the flirty, drunken one who everyone likes but maybe not for the reasons I'd prefer.

So yeah, I'm sober as nun.
It's one of those rare occasions where I'm wearing a skirt.
And I've been wandering about in flip-flops.
I am a happy hippy.

Although Dave gets more hippy points than me.
He's a stupid Vegan.
And he's crazy.


* ALSO...
I totally ran into the French girl from my old pottery class, the one who disappeared, so it was nice to see her again.
I love her accent.
She's so very French...
Can't remember her name at all though,
Oh well.


**Virginie, that was her name... I remembered it just as I was drifting off to sleep last night.

Sunday, July 23

American Made Music to Strip by...

My legs look like a Christmas Turkey.

I have been waxing, whilst listening to Ministry

\m/>.<\m/

Saturday, July 22

Lost Boys

Keifer.
Peroxide.
Mullet.

Oh yes.

I Ain't Scared Of Lightning

I heart thunderstorms

Especially the ones with the big bolts of lightning that streak across the sky

I think they're romantic

Wish I could share it with you. x

Friday, July 21

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Lies! Lies, I tell you.

It's not true.
It makes you lonely, and upset
...and even new shoes don't make me feel better today.

The one person that I should be with in the entire world,
may as well live on the other side of it.

I'm going to mope and eat chocolate now...
Whilst making 'that' face


Love is a slow, exquisite torture.

Thursday, July 20

pond progress

Over the past few weeks I have been pottering about digging and things to make my nice pretty 'zen' style pond. Because the water relaxes me, and it's a good excuse to poke at helpless amphibians.

So here's a sort of before and after progress report in pictorial form:

It started with a hole...



Then I put my nice hexagonal pond shape wotsit in the hole...



Then I filled with water, plants, some begrudging goldfish and a stray frog...



Today it has had the slabs put in and so far it looks like this...




Not bad, eh?

erm...

Internet shopping is quite addictive.
I have just been perusing Amazon,
I am now stepping away from the screen...

Wednesday, July 19

my banana bread brings all the boys to the yard

Well...maybe

I *AM* a domestic goddess

fur lined mixing bowl

In my efforts to be a domestic goddess, I stumbled across an 'alternative' recipe for banana bread.
Enjoy.

to cut, or not to cut...

that is the question.

I am considering having my hair cut.
Now I understand to most people this is no big deal, but for me, well, it is.
See...
I cut off all my hair a while ago (much to the horror of then current boyfriend) and loved it, intially.
But then I wanted it long so I had to grow it ALL back, whice has taken a couple of years now.
And now it's at that horrible irksome stage where it looks ratty and needs dyeing, or chopping...or something

So if anyone can help with the current hair peril, all thoughts are muchly appreciated.
No, really.
It's important to my mental wellbeing, seriously.



...now, where did I put those scissors?...

Tuesday, July 18

poser amphibian

Monday, July 17

made me smile...

Whilst trawling the vast resources of the intarweb for useless information such as my favourite animals preferred dress colour and starsign etc, I came across this -
Pick the best date on this list:
  • A really nice restaurant
  • A really divey bar
  • A day at the beach

( A day at the beach, for the record)

My best, and first date ever, actually.

Sunday, July 16

psychic iTunes

Keeps playing Tom McRae
It's like it knows or something...

Damn you.

productive

I have spent my day wandering round half naked and covered in mud, terrorising/'helping' frogs and generally poking at green things.
I now have a pond.
And I got a suntan.
I love those days when your head hits the pillow with a sense of exhausted acheivement.
I wish everyday was like that.
But I guess it couldn't be,
'cos then that'd be normal, and you wouldn't appreciate it anymore.

catch the worm

I woke up at 6.40am today
Who the hell wakes up at that time of day on a Sunday?
Wrong. Just wrong.

Thursday, July 13

80 miles

is too far...

Wednesday, July 12

prawn moth karma

Went on a little venture yesterday to James' house, which was fun.
Spinning fire-poi was kewl as always. I did the 'windmill'. With fire. Go me... and I played bass for the first time in aaaages (so need to practice)
...and we drank. lots...

Nothing unusual there.

I did, however, get the urge to eat prawns and did so at about 2am (drunken cooking is the best kind!)
Now, it's been over 10 years since I've eaten any meat/fish and I was a bit worried I might spew everywhere. But I didn't.
And DAMN those prawns were tasty. And no, I don't feel guilty.
I needed their fishy goodness.

But now, I have just had to rescue a truckload of baby moth caterpillars from their impending doom of frying/starvation in my window ledge.
Indivually. With a pin.

I think that balances up my carnivorous urge, no?

Monday, July 10

new friend

Mr. Bat
I made a very girly 'eek' noise when I discovered him crawling around under my guinea-pig cage, but we're fine now.
It reminded of the joyful glee I used to feel poking at small bugs.
I was a strange child.
I shall try and capture him with ye olde digital camera if I can...
Until then here's a visual representation

evil ovary

not just for pigs

If I had words to make a day for you,
I'd sing you a morning golden and true,
I would make this day last for all time,
Then fill the night deep in moonshine.

Tread softly...

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.


He wishes for the Cloths of Heaven
W B Yeats

Sunday, July 9

urgh, blurgh, argh...

I feel so. very. ill.
I hope this doesn't last...

Goodnight world.

Friday, July 7

dreams

I dreamt everybody left me in my dreams last night.
This, I did not like.

Thursday, July 6

help

someone take me away from here...

please.

I need trees, and quiet, and air that feels good to breathe, and to forget that I have to be a responsible adult.
Just for a little while.

Tuesday, July 4

can't see the wood...

Monday, July 3

you

You give me everything
You are my everything,
but all too quickly you are gone...

I crave you like nothing else
Just to look at you
Feel your warmth
Hold you next to me again

I ache for you

If I did nothing else in my life, just to see you smile everyday would be enough.

I wish you were here with me...

Because I can't let you go.

Sunday, July 2

Hell Yeah!

I won the lottery!!

ok, ok so it was only £10, but still...
I won the freakin' lottery!

Fire

This is now the second Saturday in a row I've spent burning stuff.
Can you say 'p-y-r-o-m-a-n-i-a-c'?